Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
