we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
