for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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