using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize