i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
