great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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