If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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