I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize