Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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