What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
