Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
