Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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