Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We have so much sex to catch up on
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
