apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
