Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
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