and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think I sprained my soul last night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
