Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize