he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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