I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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