You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
