Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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