They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
