a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
