He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
