Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
