508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
