Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
