Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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