HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
