Buhtt sex?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We were destined to go to rehab together
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize