Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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