these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
