i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
