how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
