so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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