I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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