she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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