i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
