she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
