would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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