Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
