4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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