I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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