Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
