white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
