A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
