PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
