Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
