Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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