I don't usually arrange sex via text message
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Randomize