I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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