physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
