So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
