you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize