dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
