And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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