How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
