Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
