The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
