There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
