before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
