Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize