I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
