So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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