just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
