no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
