five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is it penis luge time yet?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
