his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
