Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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