this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
