it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
