if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
