thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
