Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
